This has been a contentious political season, but it’s not too late to change direction! Following are seven compelling reasons to elect my cat for president. In short, Mittens:
- Can retract when he’s make a mistake (he’s always coughing up hairballs).
- Sees both sides of the issue (first he wants to go out, and then he wants to come in).
- Gets along well with humans – an outstanding trait for any president.
- Has a look-alike mouse pad so if he wanted an extra long nap, the mouse pad could stand in for him.
- Would not hesitate to chew out his mice president if he or she wasn’t up to the job.
- Has a progressive and open-minded position on dogs. Sort of.
- Would keep the tags on the bureau cats at the FDA (Federal Dog Administration).
OK, I admit I may not have put forth a incontrovertible argument for voting Mittens into office. But I can promise his presidency would be characterized by the Hippocatic oath, “First, do no harm.” How many other presidents or would-be presidents can you say that about?