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Funniest Rejections

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Rejections hurt, but sometimes you just have to laugh. Below are a few of the funniest rejections I've received, along with a few other dark publishing tales.

"When my office was moved yesterday, your enclosed manuscript emerged from a crevice underneath my desk. I am sorry."

Hey, it's OK to use my manuscript to prop up your desk. But imagine getting a rejection for a manuscript that isn't even yours!

"Thanks so much for being kind enough to return the errant manuscript you received from us. We're thinking perhaps one of your envelopes attached itself to the wrong manuscript…"

A writer friend I know wrote a fan letter to E.L. Konigsburg, and got it back from the publisher-rejected!

Another friend flew to Chicago to do a book signing for his new book. When he got there he discovered the publisher had sent someone else's books by mistake. The title they sent? The Encyclopedia of Things That Never Were.

My favorite funny rejection came from my daughter, who was five at the time. She walked into my office holding a piece of paper. "Look, Mommy, I can read!" she said proudly.

Rejection Letter

"Dear Pamela," she began, sounding out the words, "I am sorry to say I cannot evaluate any new manuscripts for the next six months."

I could write about reviews, good and bad, but instead I'm going to tell you about my favorite review of all time. It came from a little girl called Emily. "I like your book Noelle of the Nutcracker because it made me happy," she wrote, "thank you for writing this book."

Thank you, Emily.

Funniest rejections, part 2 -- back by popular demand!

Rejection Letter

The recent rains in Rhode Island flooded the basement of a friend of mine who lives there. Somehow she managed to escape the surging waters, overflowing streams, and flooded roads surrounding her farm, and drive down to visit me in Pennsylvania. When I asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner, she said, "No, let's just stay home and laugh about my basement." My friend wasn't being facetious. She just has the ability to laugh at things that don't go her way. I guess that's why I like to laugh at rejections. It's good therapy in a tough world, and some of them really are funny.

I once had twelve picture book manuscripts rejected in one hour, by telephone. That's an average of one rejection every five minutes - an all-time record! I've had manuscripts accepted in three days and others after 125 submissions.

When I wrote a chapter book about my parakeet, Winky Blue, my editor at the time told me it was too slight for a book, and would make a better magazine article. But Mondo Publishing accepted it, and then asked for five more.

What is your funniest or most entertaining rejection? Please send an email and tell me about it! Then hopefully you'll soon be smiling about an acceptance.

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